A dummy’s guide to buying a Christmas tree in Florida

May 13, 2024

EDITOR’s NOTE: This story originally ran in 2018, but every bit of this advice still holds.

If you live in Florida and want to buy a fresh Christmas tree that won’t be raining needles before the presents are opened, your best strategy is to move to Oregon or Michigan or Pennsylvania.

And pack a chainsaw.

Unfortunately, that’s not really an option for most Floridians. The upside is we won’t spend the next four months shoveling snow out of our driveways.

The downside is we can’t hop in a sled pulled by reindeer, chop down a fresh tree and laugh at all those suckers down South who have to buy Christmas trees cut and shipped before Halloween.

But do not despair if you have visions of Charlie Brown’s tree dancing in your head. We have options, and even the worst isn’t that bad.

Like freshly caught Maine lobsters, freshly cut trees can now be delivered to your door. For instance, you can order an 8-foot Fraser fir from BlueRidgeChristmasTrees.com, and they’ll have it to you three to five business days.

With free shipping, the cost is $179.99. But, of course, there is really no such thing as “free” shipping.

An 8-foot tree from ATreeToYourDoor.com costs $99, but the cheapest FedEx shipment will set you back $162.84.

We got a similar tree at Lowe’s for $79 on Black Friday. Shipping on top of my wife’s RAV4 was free.

Last Friday was supposedly when Christmas tree season buying season kicked off, though local shoppers apparently didn’t get the memo. The area containing the 6-foot trees was already picked over and only a few scrawny saplings remained.

The salesman said there would be one more shipment sometime before December 10th. They won’t be any fresher than the trees that were brought before Thanksgiving, but at least they won’t all look like Charlie B’s inspiring little reject.

Buying a tree from a chain store or a retail lot accounted for 45 percent of sales in 2017, according to the National Christmas Tree Association. About 27.4 million real trees were sold last year overall, and the average price was $75.

The most expensive day to buy one is Cyber Monday, the NCTA reports, when the average price is expected to peak at $81. If you hold out until right before Christmas, prices are expected to have dropped about 22 percent.

Heading out to Home Depot or Walmart for a tree has its holiday charms, though it can’t really compare to heading out and finding that perfect, lush holiday centerpiece growing in the wild.

Fact is, hardly anyone except survivalists still do that. About 27 percent of shoppers do the next best thing and go to tree farms, the NCTA reports.

You can pick one out and cut it yourself, or have somebody do the dirty work. The hitch is that Christmas tree farms are usually located where Christmas trees grow, and that’s not Florida — at least if you’re looking for the standard tree types like the Frasier firs, Balsam firs, Douglas firs and Scotch pines.

But Florida’s climate is hospitable to sand pines, red cedars, Virginia pines and few other types of trees that qualify as the “Christmas” variety.

There are farms throughout northern and central Florida. Check out the Florida Christmas Tree Association website to find one.

Prices vary but are competitive with what you’d pay at a retail lot: $5 to $7 a foot. And when you get it home, you won’t have to worry about leaving a trail of dead needles from the car to the living room as you set it up.

That’s a holiday tradition around our house. Sure, we shake that sucker out at the lot and pull on the branches to make sure the tree is not just one step removed from kindling.

But the inescapable fact is the longer a tree’s been removed from the earth, the deader it becomes. That doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to prolong its afterlife, and the beauty there is the simplicity involved: Water.

Mr. or Mrs. Tree is verrrry thirsty. Have the guy or lady wielding a chainsaw at the tree lot cut a half-inch off the bottom of the tree before you take it home.

If the butt is dry, it will seal with sap and won’t be able to draw up any liquid. Most trees can go six to eight hours before needing a fresh cut.

Make sure your tree stand can hold at least a gallon of water. A large tree might guzzle that much down in a day.

As for adding aspirin, bleach, lemon juice, preservatives or eggnog to the water, don’t bother. Experts say it’s a Christmas myth that additives will prolong a tree’s life.

If you feel like wasting money, you could use bottled water. But your tree will be happy with tap.

Use common sense, like, don’t erect your tree next to a roaring fireplace or use the hot-burning bulbs handed down from your grandmother. Spring for some new LED lights.

Then string them around the tree, cover the branches with ornaments and start worrying about what you’re going to put under the tree.

As for the tree itself, relax.

Floridians may not have easy access to the freshest, most aromatic versions. But really, what would you rather do – sweep up needles for the next few weeks or shovel snow for the next few months?

Give me a broom any day.

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